Showing posts with label KATWEKERA® MONOLOGUES. Show all posts
Showing posts with label KATWEKERA® MONOLOGUES. Show all posts

Thursday, February 16, 2017

A Powerful Open Letter to Deputy President WILLIAM RUTO from a Potential Voter - A MUST READ!

Deputy President William S. Ruto. PHOTO: Google Images

Dear Sir,
Greetings Mr. Deputy President. How are you doing lately? I know it’s been tough criss-crossing Kenya urging Kenyans to register in large numbers to shame yule jamaa Wa vitendawili come August this year.

From Kisii to Mandera. From Bungoma to Kwale. Mheshimiwa, I can’t even imagine how tiresome this has been to you especially with this mama abby noise spreading like bushfire in social media.

Mr Deputy before I forget let me congratulate you on winning over ICC case. Sir, you invested wisely in your legal team and they delivered. Pongezi sana. Mr khan alisema na akatenda.

Congratulations Mr Deputy on successfully merging URP, TNA and others to form Jubilee party. Sasa mko pamoja kweli. Most importantly, Congratulations for holding the office of the deputy president of the republic of Kenya for 5 years. We all know, Its been tough Especially with Jamaa Wa vitendawili as the MAIN opposition leader of the republic.

Sir, i beg to take you back in time, precisely 5 years ago. The date was 3rd of February 2013, during the launch of jubilee coalition. And this, is What you told us.

"Under the jubilee government, no Kenyan will die of hunger and drought. The price of Unga will be below kshs. 90.

We are committed to growing our economy by double digits, create 1 million jobs annually, create 24hr economy.

Doctors and healthcare workers will be properly paid, no woman will pay for maternity care, no Kenyan will travel abroad for medical treatment, our teachers will be paid, and our policemen will all live in better housings. Strikes end with Kibaki government na yule Jamaa Wa vitendawili. We will pay workers because They're the backbone of our nation.

We sign a contract with Kenyan People to transform and secure prosperity 
for all Kenyans.

In five years we will come back to Kenyans to judge us on the basis of our performance and not vitendawili. There will be no politicians in jubilee government but Kenyans of integrity who will digitally transform Kenya. Sisi tunasema na kutenda "

Sir, its February 2017. Just 5 months to the next general election. I beg to be corrected If am too Quick to judge your performance as a government. Its been 5 years. Isn't it? Please sir, If you don't mind answering these questions:

1. After 5 years of jubilee governance, Are there no kenyans dying of hunger and drought?

2. Is the price of Unga less than kshs 90?

3. Has our economy grown by double digits?

4. Has jubilee created 1 million JOBS annually?

5. Do we have a 24hr economy especially with increased cases of insecurity within and outside our borders?

6. Are our doctors and other healthcare workers properly paid?

7. Is there no woman paying FOR maternity care esp with no doctors in public hospitals and health centres for months now.

8. Are Kenyans not traveling abroad FOR medical treatment?

9. Are our teachers and lecturers paid and our policemen in better houses?

10. Sir, did Strikes end with the coalition government?

11. Are workers as the backbone of our nation well paid? Be honest sir, because labour day is fast approaching and Brother Atwoli is reading this too.

12. Has jubilee transformed and secured prosperity FOR all Kenyans? Mlisema, je mtenda?

13. Last but not least, are there no politicians in jubilee government? Is everyone in your team a person of integrity ? Did Madam Waiguru digitally transform Kenya? What happened to Ngilu and Kazungu kambi? Were they not politicians?

Mr. Deputy sir, I know You're a busy man but please find time to answer these Few questions. Your friends will say am working for the opposition but Mr. Deputy Even Kenyans in your own backyard are eagerly waiting for your feedback. The VOTER REGISTRATION is ending on 14th of February and as IEBC embarks on the crucial audit of the VOTER REGISTER please Mr. Deputy president convince me and other Potential voters that You're the Best candidate FOR deputy president 2017-2022 and probably the Best president come 2022.

Thank you sir. God bless our Motherland Kenya.

Yours
Potential Voter.



Wednesday, January 18, 2017

12 Mega Corruption Scandals Killing the Jubilee Government


President Kenyatta with his deputy William Ruto at a press briefing

Well, as the August 2017 general elections draw nearer and nearer, it is wise to revisit the achievements of the Jubilee regime, which majorly is massive looting of public resources.

I have compiled a list of the major corruption scandals carried out under the full watch of the Jubilee regime.

Laptop Tendering Scandal: the whereabouts of 53 billion shillings allocated to the project and tendered to Olive Technologies is unknown particularly after the court rejected the laptop tendering given that the company had no financial capacity to deliver the laptops.

The Eurobond scandal: in 2014, the Kenyan government borrowed over 250 billion shillings as Eurobond which was meant to pay previous governmental debts and fund various infrastructural development projects in the country. Early last year, former Prime Minister Raila Odinga emerged with allegations that over 100 billion shillings from the Eurobond proceedings had been misappropriated. A report by the the Auditor General Edward Ouko in September 2016 revealed that Sh215 billion of Eurobond moeny was accounted for.

Standard Gauge Tendering Scandal: being Jubilee’s pillar infrastructural project undertaken in their 5 years in power, SGR has been surrounded by controversy since its inception due to single sourcing – tendering process of the Chinese China Road and Bridge Corporation (CRBC) and how the quoted total cost of building the SGR rose mysteriously from 220, 921,502,221.08 Kenya shillings [approx. 220 billion shillings] to staggering 1.3 trillion Kenya shillings.

The National Youth Service Scandal: well, this scandal has been on the airwaves since 2015 after the Opposition came with the claims that over 791 million shillings had been looted at the National Youth Service. The State House came forward quickly and announced that no monies had been lost at NYS, and defended the then devolution Sectary Anne Waiguru (whose NYS department fell under her ministry) as being an industrious civil servant. A report by the Auditor general Edward Ouko in June 2016 put the figure of looted cash at NYS at 1.8 billion shillings.

There have been other mega scandals under the jubilee regime:

475 billion shillings Irregular Lamu Coal Project Award: it is alleged that the said amount was lost after the government awarded the tender to a company that did not even submit a proposal at the request for proposal stage

55.6 billion shillings JKIA New Terminal irregular tendering Scandal: irregular tendering through Kenya Airports Authority during the construction of the Jomo Kenyatta International Airport New Terminal saw the loss of 55.6 billion shillings.
15 Billion shillings of the CCTV Single sourced tender to Safaricom.

10 billion Geothermal Development Company (GDC) scandal – during tendering process.

8billion Karen Land Scandal involving 40 Members of Parliament

1.3Billion irregular drug haul ship explosion: reports have emerged that the MV Al Noor ship blowup by President Uhuru Kenyatta in August 2014 didn’t actually contain the alleged 1.3 billion shillings heroin, rather it was mere gypsum used for making fertilizer according to one of the vessel’s crew.

 50 million shillings Chieckegate Scandal: this scandal involved top senior officials at Independent Electoral and Boundaries Commission (IEBC). Investigation by UK’s Serious Fraud Office (SFO) revealed that British companies dished out bribes to IEBC officials to secure deals. Those involved in the scam in the UK were fined and jailed, but Kenya is still conducting investigation on the Kenyan officials implicated. SHAME!

This list won’t be full without mentioning the 100-million-shilling Hustler’s Jet Scandal. Scam allegations hit Deputy President William Ruto in 2014 after it was reported in the media that the DP had charted a luxury jet at a cost of 100 million shillings to take Ruto on a trip to Algeria, Nigeria, Gabon and Congo. However, the government came forth through the then Information permanent secretary Dr Bitange Ndemo to quash such claims.




Tuesday, January 17, 2017

The Day my Friend Sucker Punched President Uhuru Kenyatta!!

President Uhuru Kenyatta

Well, we were walking on a fine evening when we came across a commotion on the side of the road in the corridors of some building.

A guy was shouting that it wasn’t fair because his friend had forcefully taken possession of his plot [piece of land and building in it], and this was attracting a small crowd.

When we came closer we saw that the person accused of grabbing his friend’s piece of land was none other than our own president, Uhuru Kenyatta [I don’t know whether the incident setting was before he became president, was still president or after presidency because there was no bodyguards around].

Well, the guy was claiming that he had bought the piece of land when Uhuru was in the United States, but Uhuru was saying it was his [I don’t know HOW it was his].

My friend became angered and asked Uhuru why he would grab his friend’s piece of land where Uhuru rudely retorted that it was none of his business and my friend snapped. He hurled a barrage of insults to Uhuru [what I remember: he told him he was a cruel, evil-looking mathaf*ka, a good for nothing dude, heartless piece of sh!t, a thief etc] and even threatened to beat him up.

Uhuru immediately jumped on my friend, threw a lame punch which my boy sidestepped. My boy them sucker-punched the shit out of him and laughed as Uhuru thuddered to the ground shuddering…..


Then I woke up – it was all a DREAM!!!! DAMN!!!

© KATWEKERA® MONOLOGUES